I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was so not down for the gang bang
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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