Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
