For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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