gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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