does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
