i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
