I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
