everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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