This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
