So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
