I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
