why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
