Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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