Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
