my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
