Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
