Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
