Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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