She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
