omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
