I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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