I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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