The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
