just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
