her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
