Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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