the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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