this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
