oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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