Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
