I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
