Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
