i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
