Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
