oh god the rape fog is back!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
