no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
