I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone shit on the floor
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
