i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
