: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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