never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
