yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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