Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
