Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
