I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
