This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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