I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
