Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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