i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish I only lived at night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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