didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
