singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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